The football rules of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict

As Homer Simpson says, it’s funny because it’s true:

The Football Rules of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict:

RULE 1: Israel has the right to play on both sides of the field, but the Palestinians can only play in their own half.

RULE 2: During the match, Israel has the right to build a wall anywhere across the field to enforce the above rule.

RULE 3: Should the referee ever whistle a foul against Israel he shall promptly be denounced as an anti-Semite.

RULE 4: The Palestinians are encouraged to shoot into their own goal. Players who refuse will be nominated as terrorists and will not be allowed to play.

RULE 5: For security reasons, Palestinians do not have the right to pass the ball to each other.

RULE 6: Israel can occupy any empty space on the field by bringing in a new player.

RULE 7: All Israeli goals are valid. Even those scored during the half-time break.

RULE 8: The Palestinians will only receive their sponsorship money if they agree to let Israel win.

RULE 9: The Palestinians can only play in flip-flops.

RULE 10: There will be no goal post on the Israeli side.

Via 7adaara. Thanks, SP.

Jordan to get film school

The diversity of attempts to normalize relations between Israel and Arab states always astounds me:

The Red Sea Institute of Cinematic Arts is in line with His Majesty’s efforts to harness the skills of Jordanian youth by exposing them to the latest technologies in filmmaking and production. The institute would also contribute to His Majesty’s vision of establishing a hub for intellectual and creative capital in Jordan, where youth in the region can be equipped with the necessary tools for success.

His Majesty drew on the expertise of filmmaker Steven Spielberg, who recommended the partnership with USC, to make this project a reality.

“When His Majesty the King approached me on the subject of a Jordan-based, world-class film school serving every country in the Middle East, including Israel, I immediately saw the importance and significance of such a venture for the people and the future of the region.

I have no doubt that films schools in the Arab world are an excellent idea, especially considering the decline of Arab cinema over the last 50 years (especially technically – new movies use cheap film that produces horrible results compared to ones from the 1950s that still look splendid). But why do it with Israel? His Majesty King PS2 once again does his eager Uncle Tom routine.

Polls? What polls?

Great Onion-like headline:

Many Egyptians haven’t heard of opinion polls -poll

CAIRO (Reuters) – An opinion poll conducted by an Egyptian government body showed that 61 percent of those surveyed had never heard of opinion polls before, the official Middle East News Agency MENA reported on Thursday.

The poll, conducted by the Cabinet’s Information and Decision Support Centre, also showed that only 10 percent of those surveyed had taken part in opinion polls before, MENA reported. The report did not mention how many people were surveyed, or why the poll was conducted.

State-owned media, for many the main source of news and information in the most populous Arab country, rarely publish any opinion polls. The concept is also relatively new in the Arab world.

Forty-nine percent of those surveyed said they would like to be polled on the issue of unemployment in Egypt. The government says unemployment stands at 9.9 percent although the figure is widely believed to be much higher.

It’s worth pointing out that polling efforts have been extremely limited in Egypt, not least because you need government permission before carrying out one. I was told by a NDP figure, Muhammad Kamal probably, that they carried out telephone polls during the presidential elections to see whether people would vote. In the Egyptian context it sounds like a get-out-the-vote phone campaign more than poll. But having more independent polls would be fascinating to get a better picture of Egyptian public attitudes, which we know about international events through the polls conducted by Pew and others, but rarely for domestic issues (e.g. should the niqab be banned, what do you think of President Mubarak’s performance, what do you think of Gamal etc.) It would also be a tremendously useful marketing tool in a country that over the past decade and a half has made a rapid transition to consumerism.

Laptops for Lybians

57B1Ded4Fcde4185A8879B7946C9Eaf3After the green book, Qadhafi launches the green laptop:

With the project scheduled to be completed by June 2008, Libya could become the first nation in which all school-age children are connected to the internet through educational computers, Nicholas Negroponte, chairman of the One Laptop per Child project, told the The New York Times on Wednesday.

The $250 million deal, reached on Tuesday, would provide the nation with 1.2 million computers, a server in each school, a team of technical advisers, satellite internet service and other infrastructure.

The One Laptop per Child project, which has the support of the United Nations Development Programme, aims to provide laptops to school-aged children worldwide for about $100 each. It has reached tentative purchase agreements with Argentina, Brazil, Nigeria and Thailand.

I like anything with cranks. I wish my Powerbook had a crank for those long flights. But, while this idea sounds just fine, perhaps Muammar Qadhafi will then, I don’t know, allow freedom of speech in his country so that people can use those laptops to start blogs? Just a thought.

(I have been thinking of starting a sub-blog to follow Middle East related technology and science news. Especially focused on technology that’s especially helpful in this region, for whatever reason. Is anyone interested? And yes, I’m a geek.)

Stacher on NDP convention in ARB

Check out Josh’s take on the recent NDP convention in the latest issue of the Arab Reform Bulletin:

Although the younger Mubarak spoke in terms of consensus, process, committees, and programs, his descriptions did not match what actually took place. NDP delegates from the nation’s 26 governorates used the conference to air personal concerns and rub shoulders with the country’s political elite, but did not appear to be included seriously in policy debates. The few who offered constructive comments at plenary and committee sessions were often politely ignored as senior NDP members simply reiterated policy statements rather than addressing criticism or suggestions.

On the conference’s final day, when attendees voted to transform the presentations into party policies, dissent was entirely absent. Secretary General Safwat Al Sharif reminded party members that the papers being voted on were well studied and that President Mubarak had approved the measures. The climatic moment of internal democracy happened in an instant. Almost before Al Sharif could finish saying “all those in favor,” he declared the measures “approved” as hands immediately flung into the air.

The political reform proposals adopted in rapid succession are ambitious, if only on the surface. Political Training Secretary Muhammad Kamal said the NDP would propose amending 20-25 articles of the constitution during the parliamentary session that will begin in November. According to speeches and policy papers at the conference, amendments will pave the way for replacing the state of emergency with a specific counter terrorism law, rebalancing parliament’s powers vis-à-vis the executive, changing the electoral system (most likely to one of proportional representation), and increasing local governing council powers.

While the proposals sounded impressive, however, no specific amendments were discussed at the conference. Given the NDP’s failure so far to consult with opposition forces, there is widespread suspicion that the actual legislation to be introduced will favor the interests of the ruling party’s upper echelons.

So Muhammad Kamal is now “political training” secretary. I wondered what happened to him after the elections. I think Josh did well to highlight the lack of a clear agenda for the NDP’s constitutional amendment program. There is every reason to consider that, as Gamal Mubarak had said in the past, that the end of the emergency law will be postponed and that many other amendments won’t be made. The experience of the May 2005 amendment to the constitution to allow for multi-candidate presidential elections is likely to prove the model for the future: small committee drafting of the amendment, approval by rigged referendums or rubber-stamp parliaments, and voila: tailor-made political reform that is not reformist and doesn’t really involve politics in any meaningful sense of the term. What we are likely to see is the usual pre-recess parliamentary farce in June: suddenly, MPs will be given two days to approve a dozen laws and amendments, none of which will have been submitted to any kind of serious debate.

My prediction: before long, the NDP itself will start getting bored with pretending to be a democratic party with internal dialogue and just start going back to its bad old ways. Why keep up the pretense?

Also, Josh or anybody else, you may be able to answer this: did NDP leaders discuss reviving the “dialogue with the opposition” of early 2005? And did you encounter any NDP figures who were unhappy with the Gamal crowd’s methods, like the group of 60 or so MPs (or members) who published a critical open letter shortly before the convention?

Plus: elsewhere in this issue of the ARB, on Yemen’s election:

The Yemeni presidential election was about more than just esoteric notions of political reform; it was about the real issue of presidential succession. As in Egypt, where speculation abounds over the grooming of Gamal Mubarak for succession, there is widespread concern among Yemen’s opposition parties over the prospect of President Ali Abdullah Saleh’s 37-year old son Ahmed inheriting the reins of power.

Within 10 years the entire Middle East will be run by mafia-like families, with their dons and capos and hereditary leadership. Actually most of the region is already run by mafias anyway. Middle East politics classes should make viewing The Sopranos compulsory. I think of Hosni Mubarak as Paulie.

fun with barbed wire

So the clash of civilizations turns into a bun-fight over a handicapped parking space.

In this corner we have the Brotherhood and their new “just say no to Denemark [sic!]� campaign (just when we could get decent butter again!), while over in the far corner (but not far enough for my taste) we have the none-too-bright Christian fundie, and former Inquisitor Generalis, John Ashcroft saying stuff like this:

…those who violate the Geneva Conventions should not benefit from its provisions.

And

If the pope thought the Muslim faith were better than the Catholic faith, he’d be a Muslim.

It’s all there in the New York Times. And make sure you read all the way to the end:

Ashcroft: I make barbed-wire sculpture.

NYT: Why barbed wire?

Ashcroft: Because there was a surplus of it on my farm.

What would Jesus do about this man?

Mubarak’s quarter of a century

Tomorrow we mark the 25th anniversary of the start of Mubarak’s disastrous rule.

BBC: Mubarak’s quarter of a century

King Mubarak I

Also, tomorrow the Muslim Brothers will be celebtrating the 100th anniversary of the birth of the group’s founder, Sheikh Hassan el-Banna.

Hassan el-Banna

[Undated photo of Hassan el-Banna, (second row, third from the left) with MB members and boyscouts. Courtsey of jounralist Ali Zalat]